Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
