Me too!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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