He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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