Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
