I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's shark week go big or go home
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize