Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
