Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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