i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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