The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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