i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MIDGETS
????
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
