yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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