Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
