I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
