I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
