Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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