im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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