I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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