If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm getting married
To pizza
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
