whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
