she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize