All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
