She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
