I love black thongs
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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