I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
