I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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