i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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