hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
