I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
