I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
