You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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