dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
a search helicopter?!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
