i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize