ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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