forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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