I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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