Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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