You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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