No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
