I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize