I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
