the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
