just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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