So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wear drunk well.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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