He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
