sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
