Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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