They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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