How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
