But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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