I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
