Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize