make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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