Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
