I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dicks are not precious.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
