census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
