Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
