we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its about making memories worth repressing
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
