So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
