he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
